Forgiveness has become a hot topic lately, and for good reason.
We must forgive to heal. If you haven’t forgiven, you still have a wound (a trigger, so to speak) that needs closing. Healing is a journey to inner peace and contentment for life, your life.
None of that is to say you need to communicate forgiveness to the person who hurt you; bring them into your life again; or be a means of telling yourself (or your inner child) that it was all okay, that what they did was okay. If someone hurts you, your feelings are valid. [This is the most crucial point of understanding when discussing forgiveness].
If you have been wounded by someone (even yourself) – emotionally, verbally, mentally, physically – you are VALID.
Your feelings matter; they are, without question, of utmost importance.
Being on a healing journey, we have to work through our pains. You DESERVE freedom from that hurt. Freedom from the weight; the knots you feel in your stomach when you think about it; anxiety in the weeks leading to seeing them again; inability to stay emotionally regulated when they are around. Whatever happens to you is a response to the trauma. You are hurt; there is a part of you that needs attention…
So, the goal is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is -actually- only for you. It is a state of cleansing your mind, heart, and soul. This is a practice of telling your inner child, “I got you; you’re safe; I see your pain, and I am protecting you.” That communication must happen.
Forgiveness is a means of moving on to the life you were meant to live.
How can I start?
First and foremost, understand that you will never receive what you thought you needed from the person who hurt you.
Only you can cater to the need your body is communicating. Something is missing; only you know what you can say or do to feel safe again.
Understand that forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion.
You are taking power away from their actions and words for your soul to heal. The emotions involved are authentic and will forever be your truth. Forgiveness does not negate all that was done, but it allows you to regain your power by choosing to let go.
Forgiving yourself is also important
Understanding that you did your best with what you had in moments of survival will serve you well. What you do moving forward, with more information about yourself and more tools in your toolbox, is essential.
What do you need to forgive yourself for? Asking that question can open a door for a whole other journey.
Release yourself from the chains that connect you to that pain. You do not have to be bound to what hurts you. You can choose to let it go for your own peace.
Forgiveness allows freedom from negative emotions, prohibiting you from experiencing true joy.
Make a choice for you, by you. Nobody else can decide.
